and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize