If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
