Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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