The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
