I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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