so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
