New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
