I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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