I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize