Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize