I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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