what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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