so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.