I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP