Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive