reminds me of losing my job
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.