so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow