Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Randomize
