she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
