he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
