my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
