non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
