and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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