My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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