Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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