We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
