I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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