do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
