This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Barsexuality is the new black.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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