But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
In America we eat man semen.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
