This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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