I've blown a few things in my day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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