Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
