She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
