Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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