this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
