i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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