Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My ass is underappreciated
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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