Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
