And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
