so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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