Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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