I can text with my tongue
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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