So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
