Duck Duck Cougar?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
