I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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