we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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