we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
