is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
