she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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