So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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