So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
