is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think people are normalizing furries
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize