a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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