I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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