I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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