turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
