he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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