i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
