:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
