What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize