my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
